The next session will be at Tampines Sports Hall at 7..Be ready by 6.45.."

It's official.
I'm proud to say that TP have 3 representatives for the next round.
Although i feel sad for Katic coz he won't get another day's leave,
I'm proud of the rest. Wel, I expected for Cedric to breeze through anyway.
But me and Max.Woohoo. We were both stunned when found out.
Hahaha. Ok, now on a serious note, the trial was way tiring.
It was the first in how many months that i felt as tired as today.
Hahaha.I'm gonna spare details for a later entry coz I'm way too tired.
Hahah. Have fun everyone.

P.S: I need my flu tablets.

The next session will be at Tampines Sports Hall at 7..Be ready by 6.45.."

It's official.
I'm proud to say that TP have 3 representatives for the next round.
Although i feel sad for Katic coz he won't get another day's leave,
I'm proud of the rest. Wel, I expected for Cedric to breeze through anyway.
But me and Max.Woohoo. We were both stunned when found out.
Hahaha. Ok, now on a serious note, the trial was way tiring.
It was the first in how many months that i felt as tired as today.
Hahaha.I'm gonna spare details for a later entry coz I'm way too tired.
Hahah. Have fun everyone.

P.S: I need my flu tablets.

"Oh, Under-19 will be held at ITE Simei, 9 to 12. You know right?..."

Oh my god. It's finally nearing. That'd be like 2-3 more days.
Ya Allah, please, help me get through this with ease.
I know i can do it, but my confidence is way zero.
I need to improve my self-esteem and confidence if i wanna make it to the team.
InsyaAllah with God's help, I can make it.

I hate Raya. Apart from the morning prayers and the forgiving session.
I hate the walking around and saying hello and stuff.
It suck. Big time. And if i wasn't desperate for money, I would have just opt to stay at home.
Well, spend the first part of the day at my house.
Then the later part at my Nyayi's house. AS usually it was boring.
But however, i did get to have some interesting conversation with my cousin.
She's like 20+, maybe 30 now. And she's been through the rigours of education.
She was telling me about advance diploma and the bridging course.
And after that it's the Bachelor's degree. Cool right.
And it's got alot to do with what I'm studying at Poly right now.
Which is really good for me. And Iman was damn cute.
And one more thing. Also, sorry mum im saying this AGAIN but, Damiah is damn jambu.
For a 5 year old. Haha. Now my mum thinks I'm crazy. Haha.

Today was a much more uneventful day for me.
Except for the fact that I spent only 2 hours in school and i read the timetable wrongly.
Haha. So i end up waking up 1 hour earlier. And going to school sleepy.
Haha. And i finally change my ATM card. At last.
Haha. Hang out with Brown before and after my class.
Also met up with Ron. So long never see him. Haha.
Then went to habourfront with my cousin who still owe me 70bucks. Haha.
Went to disturb my brother at his first day of work. At Banquet At Vivo City.
Japanese food stall. Haha. To everyone, got free time go there. Haha.
Then went home with him.
The whole time my mind was thinking about school and assignments. Shit.
School stress starting. Haha.

P.S: It's too quiet for my liking..

"Allah, I love You truly..."

I'm going to miss Ramadhan.
The month of repentance and forgiveness.
The truly holy month that can only be experience only once every year.
I feel like crying. I really do.
I don't care about Hari Raya.
Cause i know i could have done so much more for the month than I have.
But I didn't. And that, I regret.

Yesterday i spent half the day at home.
Then buka outside with my classmate.
Funny how they reacted when it was nearing buka time.
They were like "do u need to pray now?"
Or "How long do u have to eat?"
Haha. We scoured around from MacDonald to KFC, all no place.
Haha. End up buka-ing at Banquet at Raffles Hospital.
Ate chicken chop for 6.30. and it's so freaking small.
Damn. Me and Miss Ou got cheated arh. Haha. Then met Ali there.
We used to play together side by side for Salibandy during Div2 last year.
We end up praying terawih at Masjid Sultan together.
And after that we went to watch the rehearsal for Suria Raya Live. Or something like that.
He was with his friends. Saw Najib Ali, Rila Melati and Fuad Rahman.
They were wearing thick make-up and all. Ug-Ly.
Then one incident happened. This kid, maybe around 9, suddenly shouted, "Ayah, ayah lum sembahyang Isyak kan?"
I wanted to laugh at that point. Isyak boleh tangguh. Tengok REHEARSAL tak boleh.
Sedangkan yesterday was the last day for Terawih. Sedih.
I left shortly cause I wasn't feeling good with Ali and his friends.
Not Ali, but with his friends. They were too into the Seni scene.

Today was the first day of school. What the hell. Tomorrow is holiday.
Funny la. Why don't they just start school on Wednesday?
Haiyo. Also, found out that I only got 3 examinable subjects. Haha.
Cool. Then sekali kene bad news.
I got homework. What in the blue hell?
HOMEWORK? Homework? Of all days, why today?
Then what? Raya do homework? I don't mind arh.
But its a must to at least visit my family members.
So looks like i have to rush through my work tonight. Sheesh.
Also, I have to set up a blog for my group to make communication easier with my members.
Haiyo. Double Haiyo.
To everyone else, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Dan Batin!

P.S: Selamat Hari Raya Awak.

"Allah tu Maha Berkuasa..InsyaAllah, you'll see the answer to it all..."

Ustaz Hatta said that to me yesterday.
I asked him about how i was feeling and all my problems.
He told me that guidance comes from Him and no one else.
How true.
InsyaAllah I will find peace in heart.

Yesterday i slept way too long than i should and end up getting a splitting headache.
Like those you get when you have a hangover....don't ask.
After prayers i just slacked all the way at home till it's time for madrasah.
For the first time since i don't know when, I started getting ready for madrasah before 5.
BEFORE 5. First time i think.
Before madrasah, my mum pester me to call Starhub regarding my Sim Card.
Apparently she got a letter from them reminding us about collecting the Sim Card.
If not, have to pay 400 bucks. Idiots.
And the best thing is only my dad can come and collect. And he's freaking busy.
So after lambasting at the woman on the phone, she said that my mum could pick it up.
With authorisation letter of course. Well, better than nothing.
I met up late with Farhan and Zaini coz of that.
As usual, we buka at madrasah.
Only yesterday Ustaz Hatta cooked up something special.
Nasi Briyani, Nasi Ayam and Roti Boyan.
COOL. Haha. Initially i told my mum i'd save my stomach for her Mee Rebus when i get home.
Hahaha. eventually stuffed myself with all those good food. Tak nak membazir.
Hahaha. And took Panadol after that for my headache. Felt so much better.
After Madrasah we said goodbye to everyone.
Suddenly i felt sad.
After so long, it was time to say goodbye to everyone.
And Miss Burp's friend didn't come. Baik arh.
Haha. Played soccer after that.
Stepped on a stone. Freaking hurts even till now.

Today, didn't go training as i had to take care of my sister.
Abeh plak tu, the announcement for the POL-ITE is today.
I'm just worried i won't make it into the team.
Scared shit man. Haha.
After taking care of my sis, went out with my mum and grandma to collect the Sim Card.
Haha. The cosultant was hot.
And she winked at me. Goodie. She gave a card with her number in it.
Well, the number was for my mum to enquire if there's any problem.
But maybe she wouldn't mind me borrowing from her for awhile. Haha.

P.S: Allah, please clear my conscience and bring peace to my heart.

"I guess I'm not enough for you..."

How can i put it?
Everytime i ask you a question, it was because i wanted to know you better.
And everytime all i get from you is an answer that will only break my heart even more.
Maybe, it's coz' you don't know how much you mean to me.
I needed someone when i was down, and that was when I found you.
And since that day you lighted up my life.
Your corny jokes, your laid back attitude and simply, everything about you.
Even if it's something ugly or wierd, it still felt significant to me.
And because of that, I'm afraid to say that you are more than just friends to me.

Yesterday i finally master the art of cooking spaghetti.
Haha. So next time, I'm gonna try cook for all my friends.
And after the game at ITE Simei, i really had to look into myself and find out what's wrong.
Maybe I'm too serious. Or maybe I'm too tensed up.
I'm not gonna go into the details in any case.

Today, i took the initiative to lead the training when Farid was late.
I was afraid there'll be mixed receptions from everyone.
Luckily all of them were ok with it.
Even Cedric helped me out with the drills. Hahaha.
Later, went to Roxy Square to cut my hair.
Don't ask why so far coz i just followed Remy since he recommended it.
Skali bila dah sampai, tada, saloon la.
No wonder it's like 14 bucks per person.

Yesterday, talking to Miss Burp actually reminded of me talking to Kakak last time.
Luckily I didn't turn emotional. Haha.
And Miss Burp, I'm glad t have a friend like you.
I may not be as important to you as you are to me, but i will always remember how you'd brighten up my day even though it's at night. Or early in the morning.
I know I've never mentioned it to you, but it's true.
I can have the worst day of my life on a Monday, or Wednesday or the other days, but you'd always be there to cheer me up. Thanks.
And the fact that you understand my situation with my dad and Miss 3-years + makes you even more valuable to me.
OK, I shan't get too carried away.
Hahahahahaha. Happy watching Prison Break.

P.S: How long are we gonna continue like this?

"The truth always hurt..always.."

I can't seem to get my thoughts right this pass few days.
And in turn, my game was affected today.
I kept thinking about my problem that I don't even realise what I'm doing.
And i seriously need help.

I think my problem is that i put too much pressure on myself.
I could have just done as per normal.
Perform like i always have.
Instead what happened was i cracked after awhile.
I couldn't play my game. It totally suck.
I really wish that I could just stop thinking about the U-19 for awhile.
Just go back to my roots. To enjoy floorball.
Enjoy playing. Jus having fun.

I need to think my situation through.
Seriously.
I can't go on like this. Coz its so sick.
The silence is too deafening. Tooo deafening.

P.S: About the U-19, I'm not gonna think too much about it. TP floorball comes first!!

"We're having an offer.."

I'm lost.
Dead.
Maybe Miss Burp was right.

"The under-19 is coming soon..."

I just get shivers everytime i hear that.
I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't when you're eligible to go for trial?
Anyway i've been nagging at everyone that I wanna try out for Under-19.
So now that it's coming, I'm scared.
WTH. That is so wrong.

Yesterday have got to be the most happiest time i had at madrasah.
For once, for a long time, i don't have to restrain myself when talking to the girls.
Usually i do,cause either we have nothing much to talk about, or it's just that I don't like talking to them when I'm at madrasah.
After all, their voice are supposed to be aurat.
But then again, I'm very happy that i got to talk to Miss Burp's friend.
I've been wanting to make friends with her for so long.
But hell, she don't seem to like the idea.
Or maybe she's having the wrong idea.
Haha. Either way I still get to talk to her alot more when we're going for Jalan Raya.

Coming to this, i remembered saying how happy i was now that I'm at Poly.
So i won't have to go Jalan Raya.
I hate it. Don't ask why.
And now, I have 2 appointments of Jalan Raya. God.
One with the Madrasah gang and the other, the SPF gang.
It's been a long time since i've seen them. The last time was during ice skating session.
Haha. And I only met Amal for lunch at Popeyes before Ramadhan.
And of coz, the usual say-hi-then-bye with Izyan when i see her in school.
Izyan. I can still remember the time we.....
Ok. wake up. Back to reality. Sheesh.

Today's training wasn't as bad as the other Saturday training.
Only that I'm still dead thirsty.
And last night, I dreamt about Ice Lemon Tea.
So i bought a whole 1.5 litre bottle of Ice Lemon Tea for buka.
Can't wait. Hahaha.

And also, i'm thinking of doing coaching for a past time.
Imagine i become injured like my brother or worst.
It'd be a waste to just let it all go.
So maybe i could coach the youths. Do something for the floorball community.
Floorball. Gotta Love it.

P.S: This might be the first time i beraya without you while with you...huh?

"He wants you to buy 1st hand phones.."

Huh? 1st hand?
Ingat anak dia cap duit kepe?
Think i got alot of money to waste arh?
God. I seriously need your guidance.
Also, I need money. In serious need of money.
So I'm seriously considering giving tuitions to primary school kids.
I suck at secondary school, so cannot.

I didn't write in any entry yesterday cause i was way tired.
Although all i did was scream at girls and crack my brains trying to recognize people.
Well, yesterday i was given a wake up call at around 9.
Apparently my mum wants me to follow my bro go Changi Hospital for my check up.
Met Priscilla there. I just realise that she's sweet. VERY.
Apparently she was having her physio session there. Haha.
Do i see hearts fluttering around my head?
IN YOUR DREAMS.

Haha.After that we went to geylang.
What? That god forsaken place?
Ya I know. The last time i said i'd go there would be when it's like there's no other place to go to save my life from a certain robber or killer.
Well, apparently, my dearest one requested i followed her there.
She wanted to buy baju kurung for me and my bro.
Just so you're wondering, my dearest one is my MUM.
Not girlfriend or anything arh. Haha.
Met my aunty there. She's like 32 but she looks like 20.
So bubbly and hippy. And she has 3 kids by the way. Haha.
Even her younger sisters look so much more mature than her. LOOK. haha.

Met Khai FLB at yishun MRT to go for the girls game at 7.
When to Causeway Point at Woodlands for break fast before going to RP.
The friendly's held there by the way.
And also, Sorry to MFBM for not inviting him along. Sorry ye bang. Haha.
Broke fast at BK. Dunno what to buy. So end up buying some set which was related to what Khai and his brother was buying.
Recently I'm having this thing about following whatever people do.
Shit. Copycat king. haha.

The game ended at 5-1. TP won. I took over Coach for the third and fourth period.
I'm impressed how complicated the girls team can be. haha.
Macam-macam hal ada. Hahaha. Asam garam hidup.
I'm also happy that Miss Burp did better than I expected. Good job! Haha.
I also realize that I like coaching. Maybe consider taking up a coaching course. Haha.

Today. training. 3 0n 3.
Mak datuk. I conceded like 3 out of 4 goals total. I seriously have holes all over.
Arrggh. Sorry Omar. Sorry Syimir.
Now im busy side tracking from doing my project. About family planning. Islam style.
Hmm. Talking to Miss Burp later.

P.S: Awak, I hope you get my msg on Raya. Raudhah, I'm counting on you!

"Swiss or Swed? They really sound alike man..."

Alas, had a long talk with Miss Burp last night.
Apparently we were quarrelling about Grey's Anatomy.
Then suddenly I mentioned about Joan Of Arcadia.
And we start talking about God and morals and principles.

By the way, I really love that God thingy show.
No offence, but the show is really cool.
Apart from God appearing as human beings, which is so totally against my religion, I like the fact that we can learn something about life and reality from every episode I watch.
There was one where God was explaining about how truth sometime hurts and how people need to adjust to it.
I remember one quote:
"Sometimes people don't want to listen to the truth because they are so used to living in darkness, behind a lie that envelops their whole life."

We can soo totally learn from that.
And also, Miss Burp told me about people who feels like killing themselves when they lose their girlfriend etc.
That is so immature and irresponsible.
I like to make my stand that if anyone ever said that to me, especially a guy, I'd slap their balls hard and make sure they realise how foolish they are.

But i have a confession to make.
I used to be like that. I feel like as though the girl is everything in my life.
BULLSHIT.
I seriously think that young people so called fall in 'love' out of impulse and mostly because they're infatuated with the girl.
Seldom have i seen a young couple who respects each other and really show that their partners are not just there to satisfy them.
Even I'm still learning.

Today's training, Coach seems satisfied with our performance.
Even though there was only half of the usual group.
He said he liked the intensity and all. Haha.
Cool. And for once, Coach praised me. Haha.
Sorry to say, I'm the type who needs comforting or remarks to know that i'm doing well.
And last words, I still believe that Brown's technical skills are the best that I've seen.
He looks so cool with the way he plays and dribbles around like nobody's business.
I seriously look up to him.

P.S: I have to admit, it's hard to act like everything's alright.

Oh ya, one more thing. I'm officially a big fan of Ann Kok.

"Maybe you're having a migraine..."

GOD... Migraine at my age?
I regard migraine as an old age sickness.

Just last night i decided to be nice and offered to help a friend of mine do her blog.
Haha. Boy, wasn't she fussy.
Haha. Seriously, I can't think much today.
Migraine. Bad one.



P.S: I need you. My one and only....... God.

"I wish you all the best. Just don't forget I existed once you're there and give me a call ya..?"

It's been 4 months. I wish you a happy Ramadhan and may you be happy always.
I know there wasn't gonna be anything between us.
I didn't want to. And you accepted that.
So I'm really happy that there was understanding between us. I'm truly grateful.
And the fact that you're 3 years older makes it all the more significant to me.
May Allah keep you safe and in good hands.
And send my regards to Mike for me. Tell him he's cool.

We used to be close. We use to have chemistry between us.
But I couldn't afford to. My heart belonged to someone then. To someone now.
But our closeness almost cost us our friendship.

Nowadays, I'm always having the fantasy of converting Chinese or Eurasian girls.
In other words, i kept dreaming of having Chinese girls who are interested in my religion.
Not that i'm not satisfied with what i have. haha.
I just wish to see non-muslims being interested about Islam.
But people are having the misconception that Muslims are related strongly to violence.
I'm fully aware of that, but before we actually blame others, we should look at ourselves.
I believe that The Prophet attracts the people through his way of life, and surely, his way of life does not include being violent to others.
So in short, we as Muslims should prove others wrong by follow The Prophet's ways of life, and that's what I intend to do.

Ok, enough of the religion talk. haha.
I read Miss Burp's entry today. Haha.
Is she trying to say that she wants to quit the team and play for fun?
Hmm. Gotta have a long talk with her tonight.

"Then what you want? Drink water?...."

Today is officially the most demanding and seriously exhausting day that I've to endure fasting yet.
I'm so thirsty I can't even seem to wet my lips anymore.
The journey home from training was like an endless torture of constant heat pouring on me.
Hahaha. On my way back I headed to the Minimart in my neighbourhood.
Bought the 1.5 litre Fruitade to gurgle down once the azan is heard.
Haha. I seriously am gonna get a stomachache tonight.
And before going home, My mum made me go all the way to CPF building to get some yellow page stuff.
You can imagine how thick it is. like VERY.
God must have loved me so the book was sold out and therefore i do not have to collect it. Yet.

Slept when i got home. Haha. My friend's idea.
Hmm. Should call her something specific since I'm always mentioning abt her.
Miss Burp. Haha. That'd be cool.
Haha. Miss Burp was suppose to follow me to the CPF building.
But at the last minute she decides not to. Suka-suka aje. haha.
And no, I'm not angry. haha.

Training today made me realize just how fickle i can be.
After training ended I used Brown's stick to play around and help Miss Burp out.
And may i say, GOD, THE UNIHOC STICK IS SO DAMN AWESOME!
Sorry coach, I just had to say that.
Just two days ago I was so determined that the Kronstrand stick i had would be the one.
But when i used the unihoc stick, it felt sooooooooo good~.
And halfway during training, I just felt like puking. Hmm. Must the those burgers i ate.
Anyway, Uncle Sam said that there's plans for going to KL and having some matches there.

UNCLE SAM, THANK BANYAK-BANYAK!!!

Pasirian planned it like twice and it never came true.
Hopefully this will. Uncle Sam said that even if the school won't pay, we'll still go.
Haha. That's the spirit. Haha. About 1 and the half more hours to go.
Haiya. So hard to stay awake. haha.

PS:I want Pizza. Can somebody get me Sarpino's Pizzeria's Pizzas?

"Goalie dah terkeluar..Abeh under pressure shoot off target..."

Haha. My brother's playing Fifa 06.
Wanted to buy the 07 but no money. The graphics way better and the stats are updated.
Can you believe it..there's no Eboue or Djourou in the Arsenal team.
Luque and Owen is still plying their trade in the Spanish Primera.
Haha. Damn old. Gotta get it soon. Must save money!!

Surf the Net today and well, guess Lady Luck was smiling at me coz I found a webby with all kind of songs for blogs. Haha. Way cool.
Got a few of my fave songs in their library so I'd probably be changing songs every week. Haha.
Anyway yesterday I said that I was tired right?
Well, I slept at 2. Haha. Was busying updating the transfers in the Fifa 06.
And if you're wondering why I'm always using the computer late at night, it's coz that my brother's so addicted to this new online game. He came screaming at me this morning.
Thought i wanted to use the computer. End up I did use it. Haha.
Haha. And at night I got a nice, very nice suprise. Haha.

She was online at 1 in the morning. Haha. Was so happy I could chat with her.
It's been so long. Haha. Wish it could go on all night. Haha.

I can vision my day today. Go mosque for Friday prayers.
Hopefully don't lose anything (I lost my hp there exactly 2 weeks ago).
Then back at home and start with my Madrasah's project.
Or end up sleeping. Haha.
And in the evening, Madrasah!! Haha. I still haven't memorise Surah Al-Buruj.
Haha. Can't do terawih today. My voice gonner. And my back aches.
Hahahaha.

And to that friend who calls me her girlfriend, haha, please tabahkan hati and I will pray hard for you to do better next semester.
Remember about wanting to study when we have free time and fast together? Haha. Don't worry, it's not the end. It's not A levels or something. haha.
Insya'Allah you will do better. And I'll try all i can to help you buck k?
Stay cheery and keep doing your thing alright?
Bismillah..

PS: You gave me wings yesterday. Haha.

"Coach, I'm sticking to one stick coach. The Kronstrand nyer. But I can't shoot.."

I like writing quotes. I dunno why. Looks kinda cool.
For the first time this year, I actually felt the meaning of patience.
The long hours, the temptation all around, the mental and physical fatigue.
Haiya. I shouldn't be complaining. It's the fact that Ramadhan is all about temptation and controlling yourself.
Haha. I'm tired right now. Very tired.
And I'm having a bleeding nose to top it all off. Haha.
Normal of me when i don't have enough sleep or rest.

Talked to Kakak this morning. I was damn happy.
But it wasn't meant to be. I just don't feel the same talking to her than before.
I dunno why. Anyway, I'm way too tired to type much so im gonna make it short.
Tomorrow write longer. haha. Changed my layout. The monkey's cute.
As in like evil cute. Haha. I love that monkey.
And ya, I love floorball.

PS: I miss you.

The all, I change my blog coz my old one had problems in it. Enjoy.

"Syahmi, the problem with you is that you change too much sticks. You're not used to one stick. You keep changing...."

Wahh, coach really know his stuff man. Haha. He' s right. I keep changing my sticks.
Haha. And he told me soft blades are the best, coz' he's using one anyway.
Hmm. Two different opinions from 2 different people. Coach. Santeri.
Training yesterday was really fun. haha. The fact that Santeri was in my line makes a whole lotta difference. Haha. But it doesn't change the fact that I enjoyed myself.
A new guy joined us for training. Hisham's the name.
He got 'ole'd like 3 times and fell on his butt like twice. Haha. Welcome to TP.
But I'm sure he will get used to it. He's strong, I noticed.

It's been like 7 months since the very first TP training that I attended.
When I got there, the only thing that I wanted to do was to leave an impression in the team. Until now, I'm still not sure whether I did.
It's been a fun and enjoyable ride for me, seeing the the good and ugly side of the team, knowing the people personally, and most importantly, making friends. haha.
They were the ones responsible for making me settle down in TP so quickly. And with that, I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Thanks guys.

Alot have changed the pass few months. I have a very good friend to confide in nowadays.
She's just so easy to talk to, although the occasionally 'burp!'s can really be irritating,haha, she's fun to hang out with.
And since she's in floorball, all the more easier.
And since it's the fasting month, the only time when it's really advisable to talk to a girl without discreet only at night. Haha.
Sorry if i always make you sleepy in the morning.
Thanks friend.

I miss Kakak.
There was one night which I kept thinking about her and how she's doing that I,well, accidentally cried.
Arh hell. What's wrong with crying. God gave us tears to wet our eyeballs and cry.

And to that person, it's been a month. That would be unbearable to normal people.
Then again, I'm not normal. =)