"I don't like the way we're taking this..."

I don't really understand why I get this feeling.
This stint of anger and frustration.
This feeling of helplessness and sadness.
It's not big. It's barely noticeable when i spend time with you.
But it gets bigger when we're quiet and silently contemplating what to say next.
And after we depart, when i take my steps up the bus while you look on,
my heart aches. I squirm in my seat as i look upon the window.
I notice you've diverted your attention to the road, crossing, not looking back.
And then, nightmare begins.

A euphoria of emotions sweep through my entire being, making me so sick in the stomach.
I begin to slouch in my seat and my heart sank miles further.
Why am I feeling this way? Didn't we spend enough time together?
Weren't we enjoying ourselves just a few hours ago? I asked myself.
Unaware that the answer was a simple "I think I'm not good enough for you."
Issit so unpleasantly true that I don't even trust myself?
It's not you. It's just me.

Hey love, if i ever once hurt you, I'm sorry.
I will be the best I can. Giving you everything i can.
And everything that's worth fighting for.
And that's you baby. YOU.

beauty of YOU
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11:19 AM;